To do that ... I happen to write!

Friday, 18 December 2009

When I first spoke

The whole school was watching. I had practiced and practiced.

A few minutes ago, I was standing in the corner, going over my 'morning news' silently, whispering every now and then, waiting for the morning assembly to get over. The teacher standing near me chose to help me out. I nervously recited the news to her. She gave me a few pointers and told me to pronounce Bangladesh without accenting it ( I was like Bengle - desh, she was like - Bangla - desh).

There were atleast 6000 students, teachers and others listening. Birds stopped fluttering and settled silently on the balconies. The toddlers standing with their mothers on roofs of distant houses overlooking our school stopped crying - even the incorrigible chatterboxes turned silent...all waiting for me to speak...I turned to look at my pretty co-news reader - who too was waiting anxiously for me to start.

Even just after finishing my part I did not know what I had spoken (except that I had indeed said Bengle-desh, and saw the frowning image of my teacher in my mind). My legs were shaking as if I was left without clothes in sub zero degree temperature. They continued to shake with same wilderness the whole day. I didn't dare to look up lest my eye's meet those of others...

A few days later I dared asked my close friends how bad did I speak. It was then, I realized - No one had even listened to my '
1 minute to fame' speech. Who listens to them, after-all! The shock of it changed into a flooding relief as I realized with joy that all the pressure that I had created was self-imagined!

Every time I go in an interview or get on the stage, I think of the time when I first spoke...

Related: Elizabeth Gilbert, author of the book 'Eat Pray Love', speaks on how to avoid getting crushed under the pressure of performance in a Ted Talk here
 


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